The Mac

Location – Blackweir
Result – Won
Man of the Match – Angle

Some say Germans are arrogant, particular and pedantic but with time spent in Hamburg in the late 1980’s I’ve always found them to be friendly with a stunning red light district. This ‘live and live’ attitude was further enhanced when I trapped off with Maren Muller, a German cornet player, outside Llandaff Rugby Club in 1989, my first snog. Yes I like Germans.
However my past experiences may have lulled me into false since of security? Does a leopard really change its spots? You know the war was only 65 years ago? Dave Stagg commented only this year on a lack of sun beds wile on holiday, he couldn’t get up earlier than them and was left with a bit of tarmac by the bog. Come on, more dust Dave!
Anyway with Griff and the Hun on the wicket for the toss and only 6 Canes present surely a polite toss would result in the Canes batting first. Nothing like it. The Hun asked how many we had, as I started to explain that we only had 6 and maybe we should bat first he cruelly threw the coin in the air and challenged me to call and stunned I said ‘Queens’.
The Queen it was. The Canes 1 The Hun 0.
The Hun then gave the Canes a lifeline, explaining in broken ‘ Allo Allo’ English ‘Ve have beaten a zide vit und 10 men Deux years ago’ I laughed and told him we’d beaten his side with 9 last week!
The Canes 2 The Hun 0
Cannon fodder was now needed and with a tippy tap reputation and no double figure scores since game one Jeremy was volunteered to bat with Imran. Imran hit out against the foe with aggression and verve but didn’t middle one scoring 10 that could easily been 40. Jeremy however hid in the trench and managed to score a couple of 4’s, even walking to the boundary to prove he’d hit it that far. The Hun changed the tanks pointlessly and slowly. The game was changed to 16 overs. The Hun then again pointlessly changed his tanks like a Panzer commander when surely 2 slips would slow Jeremy like trench foot. The ex- wicket keeper was not impressed.
Danny and Clive were caught in the crossfire quickly. Enter the General, runs flowed easily from his bat, then as he ran heroically to relive Jeremy from his pain. A no, yes, yes, no turned into the captain jumping on a grenade for his lesser while the lesser jumped under the trench. A true gent.
Angle entered the frae against his old foe, the Hun. Normy had been beaten by the tactical genius and hadn’t been the same since. Could Angle beat the German? After edges and lobbed catches Angel battered the Hun in a Blitzcriek and no leg side field could cope.
The Cane 3 The Hun 0
The Hun tried but failed to change his tanks, Angle spotted gaps against the slow moving Kraut while a shell shocked Evans nudged into 1 gap despite the wickets of Jimmy and Greg still in hand.
What of Jeremy I hear you ask? He’d carried the bat through the innings and ran the Captain out. It must be a big score? Surprisingly not. With tips and taps and a couple of early leg side boundries he managed a minumental 35 not out off 44 balls. As Greg described it ‘A shit sandwich’ after a big score in the first match then nothing until tippy tapping 35 in the last.
95 to defend off 16 overs with only 8 fielders. Thanks Jeremy!

Imran opened and brought shots from the sulking wicket keeper enter Danny. Last years tactical genius first brought a catch on the boundary from Griff then proceeded to get the sulking ex-wicket keeper caught by Clive ‘KFC Bucket’ Campbell. Surely the Sherman tanks had been silenced for another year.
And so it proved with a barrage of run out attempts from the canes adding at least 20 to the total everyone had fun. Imran nearly got his whites dirty with a run out attempt and the German couldn’t accept defeat and didn’t give 2 run outs.
The Cane 4 The Hun 0

Man of the Match – Angle

Sully Spartans

Location – Sully
Result – Won
Man of the Match – Jimmy

Disappointingly only 9 Canes turned up at Sully to take on the Spartans. Griff was seen making notes in his black book of the names of those who’d put watching the Bluebirds before the honour of representing the Canes. With a number of contracts up for renewal there could be big changes in store for next season? One who looks like he will be back though is COB. It’s an open secret that he’d been planning a new career in the Diplomatic Service – and that he’d been lined up to take over from Tony Blair as the EU’s Peace Envoy. However, it seems that following his outrageous behaviour in the Cavaliers match that job offer has now been withdrawn. Good news for Canes fans of course who can look forward to seeing their favourite in action again next summer – and citizens in various trouble spots around the globe are reported to be dancing in the streets in jubilation and relief. Everyone’s a winner really.

The Spartans batted first and finished on (I think) 140 all out in a 30 over match. I can’t remember too much of note apart from Sully bowling the one opener after bamboozling him with a variety of cunningly flighted deliveries. I think Griff may have taken rather a good catch in the deep – but unfortunately a speck of dirt had blown into my eye at the time and so I’m unable to describe it any detail. Sorry about that. Anyway, knowing the shy and modest sort of chap that he is I wouldn’t want to embarrass him with extravagant praise – though if anyone who wasn’t there wants to know more I dare say, if you buy him a pint and ‘really’ twist his arm, he’ll tell you about it himself.

A decent total then – but no problem for the powerful Canes batting line-up surely, even if once again there’s not a Nathan to be seen? Not a bit of it though as the wickets are soon tumbling. Griff’s cousin Matt, Jeremy and Super Sully are soon gone, and after a brief revival so is Lewis – gone to an excellent catch in the deep. So, it’s a case of position serious but not critical – until the Geriatric German is brought into the attack, instantly striking fear and dread into Hurricane hearts. Now Chris Angle has no doubt heard all about the German but has yet to experience the ordeal of facing him in battle. Griff is at the non-strikers end and his orders are clear – anything that bounces twice before reaching the batsman is to be called a no-ball. I impart this to the German who duly tries his best to pitch up his underarm deliveries. He hasn’t really got the strength though and one or two fail to make it, but I can’t find it in my heart to call ‘no ball’ – to Griff’s disgust. The guy’s 83 after all – I think it’s remakable that he’s still playing – and he just loves having a bowl. He’s too much for Chris anyway, who’s bowled trying to swat at a trundler and duly joins the Normy club.

At this point I manage to get relieved as umpire as I’m dying for a fag. However, before I can reach into my coat pocket the sound of ball and stumps coming into contact means that Griff’s gone too – and I’m in next. Thanks a lot Skip. As we’re still about 70 short of the Spartans’ score we’re in big trouble here and no mistake. Though there’s still COB, who’s been demoted to the bottom of the order in disgrace, to come this is an excellent venue and we want to play here for years to come – so we can’t risk the wild man upsetting our hosts with his antics. So – it’s down to me then. After so many years (some would say decades) of serial under-achievement it’s time to step up to the mark and be counted. I’ve got to stay in and try to give Jim the strike. Fortunately the gods are smiling down on me today – the City have won 3-0, England have won the Ashes, and I manage to stay with Jim as he batters the bowling around the ground in trademark style to see the Canes home to victory. Cue frantic dash to the Seashore Grill for the post match buffet.

Man of the Match – if Griff’s catch is as good as he says it was then he was then he deserves the award for that alone. However, as I missed it (damn that speck of dirt) then of course it has to be Jim.

Danny

The Cavs

Location – Llandaff Cathedral School
Result – Won
Man of the Match – Cob

Another game, another cup final, this time against the arch enemy the Chav’s, oops sorry the Cav’s.
On a beautiful evening and a great looking pitch the Cav’s were put into bat by Skipper Griff who was still hungover from the previous nights FTL Cup celebrations and whose mind was clearly not in the zone at the start of proceedings, wake up Skip!

Driscoll and Angle opened the bowling and after a brisk start Danny got the breakthrough with a devilish delivery. Jeremy took the next wicket with the assistance of a decent catch by Stagg Senior who was quoted as saying “I banked that one and spent the overdraft before it was in my mits”, confidence is the key to safe hands!

The cavaliers continued to pile on the runs and started to look pretty dangerous until Jaffa bowled his Jaffa and caught the sweetest of deliveries in a strange kinda ladylike way taking out the dangerman Marchant. The innings continued to flow with tight bowling from the rest of the canes, two excellent run outs, Cob being the hero with the gloves and then great wickets by Glyn and Jimmy near the death to restrict the Cavs to 125 runs, a total that was very respectable but gettable at a rate of 7 an over.

The opening batters were decided via an email prior to this match. Jimmy had a vision and I quote from his email:

“and I still stand by my claim that this is your wicket Jaff! Cob (who hit the cup winning runs) and Jaff to open”
Jimmy

No-one realised at the time how vital this decision was….

Bowen was chuckling on the boundary about this vision saying that he fancied Jaffa’s chances but the next batsman better pad up now because Cob would be back in the pavilion before Griff could finish his fag, how wrong could he be!!

Cob got off to a blistering start and was scoring at a rate that was double of Jaffa’s. Boundaries flowed and the running between the stumps was impressive, we were all feeling tired just watching. Jaffa continued to back up Champion Cob and the 7 an over rate was being followed comfortably. Then came the moment for Cob to hit his 50th run, a cheeky single down to third man, well done Cobbage, good skills! More boundaries more smacks to cow corner and a couple of dodgy overs put us within sight of the target until Jaffa made a monumental error refusing an easy single and leaving Cob in no mans land, run out for 65!! Cob lost the plot kicking the off stump out of the ground and storming off the pitch, naughty boy but f**ckin hilarious! Made my night Cob, top man!!

Anyways at this stage we suddenly realised that there was still work to do so Jeremy was sent in and told to swing from the hip, hmmm not his forte really but he’s a trier. Jaffa moved onto a superb 50, Jeremy got two great dot balls before being bowled, nuff said! Bowen went in and then Jaffa spanked the winning runs with a boundary and the C & H cup was The Canes property again and rightly so.

Good game, great spirit from both sides and very enjoyable night. Cob even went and apologised to all about the stump incident, true gentlemen at heart but sometimes not head!

Well done Jaffa but Cob gets the Man of the Match.

DS

The cup final vs Glam Centurions

Location – Llanrumney Uni
Result – Won
Man of the Match – Greg

A hyped-up Hurricanes squad arrived at Llanrumney to do battle with the Centurions in the inaugural FTL Cup Final. The Canes had stormed into the final without actually having to play a match thanks to opponents having cried off in the quarter and semi finals, so we were thankful to see the Centurions there – it would have been quite embarrassing to parade around the ground, showing off a non-existent trophy, without actually having played anyone. There’d clearly been a mix up with the arrangements as there was no sign of the expected TV cameras – or even anyone from the press, while the crowd was disappointingly low for such a seismic encounter (just Jay and Nipper). Clearly somebody in the publicity department must have screwed up. However, Griff had entered into the spirit of the occasion turning up attired in a bizarre ‘ensemble’ that wouldn’t have looked out of place in Brideshead Revisited – all that was missing was a butterfly net to complete the effect. Jaffa had cried off with some feeble excuse, and Nathan turned up late with game already under way and the Canes with eleven men already on the field – meaning that for the first time in living memory the Canes took to the field ‘Nathanless’. It was a strange feeling. Will life ever be the same? Is the ‘Era of the Nathans’ over for good – to be supplanted by the ‘Coming of the Chris’s’.

The Centurions batted first and made a decent start before Super Sully weaved his magic and persuaded the one opener of offer up a catch that was safely pouched by COB. However, this brought Bromiley to the crease, who looks a very good batsman and was soon smiting the ball lustily to all parts of the ground – including a mighty 6 back over the head of hat-trick man Clive, who’s unaccustomed to such treatment. The Centurions were cantering along at a rollicking rate at this stage, though the Canes were saved from further carnage by the FTL rules which obliged him to retire when he reached 30. Thank goodness for the man who thought up that rule. However, the scoreboard continued to tick over, despite an excellent spell from Jim (just 2 runs conceded off 2 overs) and a brilliant run-out from Chris Angle who hit the stumps direct from thrid man. The tension of the occasion was clearly getting to Griff as, to settle his nerves, Captain Imperturbable had to call for a can of Strongbow to go with the fag that he was smoking at mid off. It’s tough at the top. I apologise for any inaccuracies or omissions in this report, but I’m relying on memory as Griff nicked the scorebook to pore over in the pub afterwards. However, I believe the Centurions finished on 111 off their 18 overs – a healthy and challenging total.

Now some say that Greg is too old and overweight to make a top class sportsman, and that Dave is yesterday’s man – his talent fatally undermined by his boozy playboy lifestyle. But Griff isn’t a man to be swayed by opinions of others, and he backed his judgment by selecting them to open the Canes reply – and how right he was as they got us going with an excellent stand of 40 odd before Dave perished and Greg had to retire on reaching 30. However, the required run rate was still taxing – with batting (and also fielding no doubt) getting more difficult in the fading light. Chris Angle and Imran hit out briefly before perishing while Lewis hit a 4 and a 2 before being given out lbw off his third ball by umpire Griff. Lewis wasn’t impressed with the decision claiming a ‘massive inside edge’ – a claim backed up by the rest of the (entirely unbiased) troops who had all apparently seen it clearly from the boundary through the gloom. It seems that Griff may indeed have ‘done a Jaffa’. It’ll be interesting to see what Mr Jeffries has to say on the matter after the stick he took from Griff last week?

By this time the Canes on the boundary were approaching an unhealthy state of fervour and anxiety. With the Centurions bowling well and fielding like tigers, every shot was being greeted with hysterical shouts of ‘run it hard’ ‘look for two’ or ‘back up you fool’. Cool heads were called for but even Mr Evans, after a scrambled single off a Sully shot that travelled all of 10 feet, was screaming ‘two – two’. He later admitted that hadn’t been able to see where the ball had gone, but from the sound of the ball on bat ‘it just sounded like a two’? The growing panic from the boundary seemed to infect the batsmen who were now running for everything. Inevitably perhaps this saw wickets start to tumble. Jim was unlucky with one that kept low – but I think there were at least 4 run-outs. The last of these was Clive during the penulimate over from the returning fast bowler Phillips – who must have been very difficult to play in the gathering darkness. This brought last man COB to middle with 2 still needed to win. Nobody could breathe – and you could hear a pin drop as the bowler ran in. ‘Thack’ – it’s through the covers, the batsmen are scampering, it’s all over – the Canes have won. Ecstatic scenes as his team-mates run up to cover Chris with kisses – but then think better of it. There’s even a tear in Nipper’s eye at his son and heir’s moment of glory – or was it because someone kicked over his last can of Bow in the excitement? Oh man, this feels good. Grrrrrrrr! Tear me off another chunk of that raw meat. Find me another ass to kick.

The Canes pose proudly with the non-existent trophy as Griff astounds everyone by producing a can of something fizzy from somewhere, and then proceeds to spray everyone with it. However, the lap of honour has to be abandoned after we fail to find two volunteers to carry Griff shoulder-high in triumph (well – he’s a big lad). Congratulations to the Centurions for their part in a most enjoyable and exciting evening – played throughout in an excellent spirit. If every game was like this the FTL would be playing to packed houses the length and breadth of Blackweir. Hopefully the celebrations didn’t carry on for too long into the night as we have date with those dastardly Cavaliers tonight.

Man of the Match is a tough one as everyone contributed – but I believe the verdict of the club elders was that it should go to Greg for his excellent batting at the start of the innings.

Danny

The Casuals

Location – The Marl
Result – Won
Man of the Match – Jimmy

As the Canes arrived to do battle with the Casuals at the Marl in darkest Grangetown they were met with a grim sight, as it appeared that some of the natives had enjoyed a bonfire on the artificial strip – which had consequently been left with a large gaping charred hole in it. As there was also no boundary marked out it seemed that the game was in doubt as the elders on both sides solemnly discussed the situation – but it was then that Lewis showed that he’s more than just a pretty face as he disappeared into the next door Leisure Centre, and emerged with a gym mat which was used to cover the hole, as well as a set of markers which could be used to denote a boundary. Nice one Lew.

The game finally got under way, with bowling possible from the one end only. The Canes were looking for a good steady start after the batting calamity against the Mitres last time out – and Mr Evans was surely the man to provide it. But no – out bowled for a duck, and with Chris and Jaffa suffering the same fate against good accurate opening bowlers the Canes were teetering on the edge of the abyss at only 4 for 3 wickets. Disaster and humiliation loomed and it was looking like a case of deja vu yet again. However, with the opening pair finished Lewis and Jim turned the tide and the runs started to mount. They were able to bat with the freedom of knowing that Jaffa had received a life ban from umpiring after his aberrations in the Mitres match. After he’d expressed how much he hated umpiring, and hadn’t wanted to do the job anyway, there was some speculation that his performance in that game may have owed more to calculation than mere incompetence as Mike D told the tale of how, as a kid, young Jaffa had managed to get out of washing-up duties by ‘accidently’ dropping and breaking various items of crockery. Hmm.

The runs continued to come, despite a break in play when a couple of Jaffa’s relatives strolled across the pitch on a social visit – and quite charming and delightful they were too. Comparisons were made with the Queen’s traditional visits to Lords to meet and greet the teams – but that was really too much of a leap of the imagination (and would have been even with the help of the mind-expanding substances that they seemed to have partaken of). Lewis finally fell to a steepling catch on the boundary, but Jim showed ‘what might have been’ agains the Mitres as he progessed to an excellent 50 odd before being unluckily stumped (or was it run out?) via the wicket-keeper’s pads. Griff and Clive kept up the momentum and the Cane’s finished on a decent score of 128 for 6.

With a healthy total to defend Griff set the field to generally allow the singles but defend the boundaries. The wisdom of his thinking was shown as many hard-hit shots were kept to singles after being intercepted by the men on the ropes – and surely those doubters who’ve previously cast aspersions on his claims to being a tactical genius will now be eating their words? Though Casuals certainly gave it their best shot, good accurate bowling throughout meant that there were few easy runs on offer and they were eventually all out in the last over for 102. COB showed that there may be life after Greg with a solid performance behind the stumps (which included a fine juggling catch), there was an excellent catch from Normy off Jeremy’s bowling, 2 wickets in 2 balls for Imran – though he just failed to ‘do a Clive’, and Lewis showed his comittment by sustaining a very painful looking injury while trying to prevent a boundary. He could barely walk after removing the scab from a recent footballing injury. This is a worry with the big cup final against the Centurions coming up on Monday, but he said he’d be OK – it’s only a bit of skin and he’s got plenty left.

An excellent all-round performance after last week’s disappointment – leading to a notable double over the Casuals, and a most enjoyable game after the unpromising start. But the question now must be, will the no-shows – Greg, who decided to work late (boo) and Nathan, who was at rugby training (boo, boo, and thrice boo) – be able to reclaim their places in the team for the glamour cup game next week? You may think not – though if they promise to buy Griff a pint then I wouldn’t surprised to see them back. Every man has his price after all?

Man of the Match? Well, it has to be Jim really – though Lewis runs him a close second.

Danny

Casuals report

The Mitres

Location – The Cathedral School
Result – Lost
Man of the Match - Sully. 2 for 6 from his bowling and he managed to bat for more than 2 overs.
Villan of the Match – Jaffa. Overthrows in the field, 11 dot balls and THAT decision.

I had my worse game in my career (although that probably applied to a couple of others too), facing 10 balls from a wierd medium pace spin bowler before one went under the bat as i lost my head and tried to send him out of the park. My fielding was abysmal also with some overthrows and i gave jimmy out lbw (it was a lot closer than last time – I honestly think it was out) when we were in a difficult spot and i could have got away with ‘bending’ the rules and saying it was sliding down leg. All in all i had a shit day in work, followed by a shit evening at cricket and felt like topping myself last night. I’ve still not quite recovered so I thank the lord there has been no abuse today.
Jaffa

THE MITRES TAKE 2

The Hurricanes’ dream of future world domination took a temporary set-back at a gloomy Cathedral School ground against the Mitres. There was a delayed start due to a combination of the late arrival of a number of Mitres players and the seemingly imminent arrival of the bad weather that had been forecast for later, and it was therefore decided to have a reduced 15 overs match. Sadly a number of no-shows meant that the Canes could muster only 10 men.

The Mitres batted first by default as they were still short-handed and scored something like 87 for 5 off their 15 overs. Though this was perhaps a few more than it should have been due to some slipshod fielding it was certainly a gettable total given the high scores that we’ve been racking up all season, and the Canes were therefore confident of extending their recent unbeaten run. However, pride comes before a fall – and maybe it was over-confidence, but what followed can only be described as a batting debacle.

Last year’s player of the season Jaffa took first strike and, as he’s often told us how the Cathedral School is ‘his ground’, the Canes settled back and prepared for an anticipated feast of attacking stroke play. However, what followed bore little resemblance to type of cover drive that can be seen as soon as you enter the Hurricanes’ web site, as he wafted around ineffectively trying to lay bat on ball before departing for a duck. However, there was no need for alarm as Chris Angle was looking in good nick with a couple of quick boundaries – until he was given run-out going for a risky third. He didn’t seem too impressed with the verdict – pausing to give umpire Griff the hard stare before leaving the scene with much bewildered head-shaking, shoulder-shrugging, and other assorted gestures of dissent. This boy’s going to go far – I like his attitude.

Further disaster soon followed. Danny sustained yet another career-threatening injury off his first ball before being bowled by the second and COB also soon perished, but the Canes remained confident as the re-assuring sight of Slogger Rees strode to the crease. Oh no – now he’s striding back again – out for nought to a tame catch. With Griff briefly flattering to deceive gloom and depression started to settle among the Hurricanes ranks. However, all was not lost with hopes now resting on Jim – so often the saviour over the years and surely destined save our bacon yet again? A half-hearted lbw appeal. You must be joking – that was never out. But what’s this? Surely I must be seeing things. Jaffa’s finger is in the air – calamity! TMO Griff is right behind the line and says it would have missed another set of stumps. Jim’s not too impressed either and says that, when the decision was made, he heard the wicket keeper behind him say ‘oh dear’.

There’s still hope though as the tail wags briefly in the form of Sully and Imran – and then Greg after Sully’s dismissal. An lbw appeal against Imran. That looks plum – it’s all over surely. But no – a guilty looking Nathan is determined to make up for Jaffa’a clanger and tries unconvincingly to intimate that the ball might just possibly maybe somehow have managed to just miss leg stump if the wind had picked up. Well done Slogger – this could be just the break we’re looking for. But alas no – Imran is bowled next ball and the Canes subside feebly to about 50 all out. All in all a comprehensive whuppin’ – and as we pack up to leave the predicted rain arrives to further dampen proceeedings.

After a set-back like this it’s clearly very important to maintain team morale – and to this end, as I’m sure everyone will agree, there’s nothing better than quickly identifying a suitable scapegoat – and then giving him a good kicking. Everyone feels better and we can move on to the next challenge. Of course there’s a long list of candidates for the position on this occasion. However, as Jaffa has already confessed that he felt like putting an end to it all after the worst performance of his career – well, they do say ‘never a sucker an even break’ don’t they? So that’s it settled then – it was all Jaffa’s fault and the rest of us have absolutely nothing to reproach ourselves for. Onward and upward.
Danny

The Casuals

Location – Heath Park
Result – Won
Man of the Match – Chris OB

I’d like to start by apologising for any panic and alarm caused by my last report when I prematurely reported the demise of our Dear Leader – Mr Griffiths. It turns out that it was all just a bad dream – the consequence of a late night cheese sandwich and an over-active imagination. I can confirm that he’s alive and well and continues to lead the Canes to ever-greater feats of triumph and glory.

With a number drop-outs (let them hang their heads in shame) the Canes got under way against the Casuals with only 9 men – though Jim and J Lo did show up later to bring us up to a full quota. Griff won the toss, inserted the Casuals, and decided to see what they were made of by opening with Sully – the Sultan of Spin. Unfortunately his radar seemed to be focused on a line some 3 feet outside the leg stump. This ensured some hairy moments for Greg behind the stumps as one batsman in particular produced a shot that I haven’t seen before – a vicious hook to send the ball to the boundary on exactly the same line that it was originally travelling (and missing Greg by a whisker). This didn’t faze the Sultan though who simply moved COB to a short long-stop(?) position and then proceeded to bowl to his field – almost resulting in a sensational catch from the Cobster from one rocket shot.

The innings proceeded on damp, uneven pitch that ensured that batting was never easy and I believe the Casual eventually reached a total of about 97 for 6 off 20 overs. The details are already getting hazy though there seemed to be a very large number of wides and no-balls, and also DCs and NOBs. The highlight was a fantastic run-out when a diving Lewis prevented a boundary, simultaneously scooping the ball up to Chris – who then hit the stumps direct from a long way out. If any thing beats that for the Best Run-Out Award then I’ll eat Griff’s jock strap.

I actually missed the first 3 balls of the Hurricanes reply – by which time Slogger Rees was out for 8. Now it may well have been an innings full of graceful and elegant stroke play – though I rather suspect it was a typical Nathan knock. Though we were always ahead of the required run-rate thanks to a number of decent contributions (I think the Sultan was top scorer – or maybe it was Chris) wickets continued to fall on the difficult pitch. Griff was caught on the boundary, Jim was bowled by a scooter – though much of the rest is a bit of a blur.

Eventually, with 7 runs required for victory, my good self came to the middle at number 10 determined to see us home for a rare win over the Casuals. With Imran’s wise words still ringing in my ears (‘there’s plenty of overs – take absolutely no chances’) the first delivery was a gentle long hop. Well, what else could I do but dispatch it to the boundary? Three needed to win. The time had clearly arrived when I’d finally be the team’s hero – especially when the next delivery was equally inviting. Unfortunately this time I failed to get any sort of decent connection and lobbed up a simple catch. Hero to zero. However, Imran and Greg held steady to see the Canes home to victory by the narrowest of margins.

Man of the Match – unless decided otherwise by the Committee at the Three Arches I’d say that Chris was the stand-out contender. ‘That’ run-out, ‘almost’ a blinding catch of Sully, plus some big hitting.

Danny

The Leauge July 11th 2009

FULL TOSS League Standings Week 6
Team                                                                Pl               Pts             
1 Highway Hurricanes                              7                58
2 Glenwood Church                                   6                33
3 Glamorgan Centurions                         6                 24
4 Mackintosh Church                                6                21
5 Cardiff Bay Barbarians                          6                21
6 Welsh Blood Service                              6                17
7 Welsh Assembly Government           5                15
8 St Fagan’s Museum                                  5               12
9 Sportsman Rest                                        1                 3
Have we won the Leauge?

The Mac Church

Location – Heath Park
Man of the Match – Chris Angle

With only one match lined up this week and a chance to pull further ahead in the SWFTL 9 Canes gathered eagerly at Heath Park. With 2 injured players in Cob and Danny the Canes desperately needed the guile of Jeffrey’s and the power of Rees. They were absent but all concerned we sure traffic permitting they would arrive soon to boost the ranks.
With the toss won against the German (they don’t like it up ‘em) the Canes took the opportunity to fill their boots. J-Lo went off at an alarming quick rate for a man of his age, having a strike rate of 200 at one stage. It couldn’t last and after loads of quick singles and twos off the German he was overheard by Danny wheezing ‘Oh, for fucks sake Greg please miss it. I’m going to die if I have to run again’. Soon after this he retired on 21 muttered something about valeting his car and disappeared to the oxygen canister in his boot.
The wicket keeper and his mate slated the whole team constantly, only Bowen who fielded for them was spared in an attack that the still missing Jaffa would have been proud of. Gerry Garcia was replaced by A. Fiddler and the German, cunningly disguised as Harold Steptoe came on to bowl. Greg continued the onslaught against the best the Mac had to offer late cutting the ball in the long grass against balls of such pace that they hardly reached the bat. As a result few boundaries were hit and the score slowed. Greg put himself out of his own misery playing on himself, tickling A. Fiddlers shinny red ball onto his wood.
The Chris’s then took the stage and like any good Cane batting above No 4 upped the run rate. Angle fell 2 short of his 50 and a defendable score of 143 looked to have won the match.
Everyone bowled tightly during the Macs innings and after Bowen had dispatched their only batsman, the wicket keeper for 14, the match was over. The Mac couldn’t get close to the run rate and the wicket keeper took great joy in yelling, swearing and laughing at every batsman telling them how poor they were. It was as if Jay had mated with Jeff Boycott and their son had tourets.
The match was won with maximum points thanks to J-Lo’s decision to retire and quick scoring from the Chris’s. One question still remained, where were the Nathan’s?
Rumour had it that Rees was with ‘a girl’ and Jaffa had gone to watch the last 20 minutes of the Ashes. Any Cane who had seen the simmering sexual tension between the two in recent weeks would assume, correctly, that this was a red herring. They have finally gained a respect that has grown into love after years of competing to be the best Nathan and this finally manifested itself last night. Conformation was received from Dave Stagg late last night when he spotted an exhausted pair of Gaythan’s stepping out of Club X before stop tap for ‘more of the same’. Well done boys, as Captain I wish you all the best and ask you to bring your own boxes from now on and remember, not before a match it could affect your batting. The only question that now remains is who is the giver and who is the taker?

Rhiwbina CC

Location – Caedelyn
Result – Won
Man of the Match – Clive

“But out of the ashes of defeat would also come great success.” Edward L. Buford (1842-1928)
And so it proved on an overcast evening at Caydelyn Park. Crack Willows team Rhiwbina were looking to bounce back after a run of 4 league defeats against supposed weaker opposition.

The Canes were put into bat and were soon 2 for 1 off the opening over. Griff was caught at gulley for 2 and Jaffa clean bowled for a golden duck. Jimmy (29) and Bowen (23) steadied the ship but when they fell the runs dried up and the wickets fell at regular intervals. Only 26 runs were scored by the last 7 batsmen including a 2nd ball duck from Sully that completed his pair. This left the Canes on a measly 103 off 18.1 overs.

Bowling and fielding needed to be tight if the Canes were not to be embarrassed by their more illustrious opposition. Things started well but Rhiwbina were always on top of the run rate. A mix up from the openers gave Nathan Rees an easy run out, and Sully (8 runs from 2 overs) bowled a fine spell, bowling with cunning and guile that had the Rhiwbina captain coming forward then back then forward again. The flight of the ball was such that Sully’s ability to cause chaos and confusion in even the most level headed players, in fact anyone’s mind at any time had the batsman asking questions of himself that he didn’t even know existed. The cameras in his head seemed somehow seemed to penetrate the Rhiwbina captains’ judgement and our psychiatric nurse won the battle. Lewis (1 for 10 off 2) followed this up with aggression and pace and trapped the poor captain LBW before he had a chance to readjust after Sully’s metal assault.

The next batsman put on a good 38 partnership which looked to have won the match. Griff dropped an easy chance from Jaffa (0 for 21 off 2) but the Canes never lost their heads and an inspired piece of fielding from a full length diving drop from Lewis resulted in a sharp run out from COB behind the stumps. Despite the heroics Rhiwbina only needed 26 runs off 7 overs and still had 7 wickets in hand. What followed next is the stuff of legends.

Clive was brought into the attack and produced a stunning display of pace bowling clean bowling 3 for a hat trick in his first over. Sully then took a stunner off Garraway’s bowling, catching the ball over his shoulder despite looking the opposite way, the cameras in his head were working overtime. Clive came back on and took a double wicket maiden (5 for 1 off 2) thanks to another great catch from Bowen. The Canes went nuts thinking the match was over. The poor outgoing batsman showed his frustration by hurling his bat then gesturing in an aggressive manner to the celebrating Canes in a display not seen since the Casuals bearded batsman had to be restrained by his misses after Clive bowled a bouncer down Caydelyn in 2006. The last batsman arrived at the crease and Jimmy, ever the professional, bowled a bouncer that the No 11 could only glove in the air to Chris behind the stumps.

A 10 run victory that never looked on the cards produced wild celebrations. Every wanted a photo of Clive with ‘that ball’. Clive even came out for a pint after the match and was last seen outside the Halifax in town with Dave Stagg and Jay looking for lap dancers.

MoM – Clive Cambell

5 for 1 Clive with ‘theball’

The Scorecard