The Mitres

Location – The Cathedral School
Result – Lost
Man of the Match - Sully. 2 for 6 from his bowling and he managed to bat for more than 2 overs.
Villan of the Match – Jaffa. Overthrows in the field, 11 dot balls and THAT decision.

I had my worse game in my career (although that probably applied to a couple of others too), facing 10 balls from a wierd medium pace spin bowler before one went under the bat as i lost my head and tried to send him out of the park. My fielding was abysmal also with some overthrows and i gave jimmy out lbw (it was a lot closer than last time – I honestly think it was out) when we were in a difficult spot and i could have got away with ‘bending’ the rules and saying it was sliding down leg. All in all i had a shit day in work, followed by a shit evening at cricket and felt like topping myself last night. I’ve still not quite recovered so I thank the lord there has been no abuse today.
Jaffa

THE MITRES TAKE 2

The Hurricanes’ dream of future world domination took a temporary set-back at a gloomy Cathedral School ground against the Mitres. There was a delayed start due to a combination of the late arrival of a number of Mitres players and the seemingly imminent arrival of the bad weather that had been forecast for later, and it was therefore decided to have a reduced 15 overs match. Sadly a number of no-shows meant that the Canes could muster only 10 men.

The Mitres batted first by default as they were still short-handed and scored something like 87 for 5 off their 15 overs. Though this was perhaps a few more than it should have been due to some slipshod fielding it was certainly a gettable total given the high scores that we’ve been racking up all season, and the Canes were therefore confident of extending their recent unbeaten run. However, pride comes before a fall – and maybe it was over-confidence, but what followed can only be described as a batting debacle.

Last year’s player of the season Jaffa took first strike and, as he’s often told us how the Cathedral School is ‘his ground’, the Canes settled back and prepared for an anticipated feast of attacking stroke play. However, what followed bore little resemblance to type of cover drive that can be seen as soon as you enter the Hurricanes’ web site, as he wafted around ineffectively trying to lay bat on ball before departing for a duck. However, there was no need for alarm as Chris Angle was looking in good nick with a couple of quick boundaries – until he was given run-out going for a risky third. He didn’t seem too impressed with the verdict – pausing to give umpire Griff the hard stare before leaving the scene with much bewildered head-shaking, shoulder-shrugging, and other assorted gestures of dissent. This boy’s going to go far – I like his attitude.

Further disaster soon followed. Danny sustained yet another career-threatening injury off his first ball before being bowled by the second and COB also soon perished, but the Canes remained confident as the re-assuring sight of Slogger Rees strode to the crease. Oh no – now he’s striding back again – out for nought to a tame catch. With Griff briefly flattering to deceive gloom and depression started to settle among the Hurricanes ranks. However, all was not lost with hopes now resting on Jim – so often the saviour over the years and surely destined save our bacon yet again? A half-hearted lbw appeal. You must be joking – that was never out. But what’s this? Surely I must be seeing things. Jaffa’s finger is in the air – calamity! TMO Griff is right behind the line and says it would have missed another set of stumps. Jim’s not too impressed either and says that, when the decision was made, he heard the wicket keeper behind him say ‘oh dear’.

There’s still hope though as the tail wags briefly in the form of Sully and Imran – and then Greg after Sully’s dismissal. An lbw appeal against Imran. That looks plum – it’s all over surely. But no – a guilty looking Nathan is determined to make up for Jaffa’a clanger and tries unconvincingly to intimate that the ball might just possibly maybe somehow have managed to just miss leg stump if the wind had picked up. Well done Slogger – this could be just the break we’re looking for. But alas no – Imran is bowled next ball and the Canes subside feebly to about 50 all out. All in all a comprehensive whuppin’ – and as we pack up to leave the predicted rain arrives to further dampen proceeedings.

After a set-back like this it’s clearly very important to maintain team morale – and to this end, as I’m sure everyone will agree, there’s nothing better than quickly identifying a suitable scapegoat – and then giving him a good kicking. Everyone feels better and we can move on to the next challenge. Of course there’s a long list of candidates for the position on this occasion. However, as Jaffa has already confessed that he felt like putting an end to it all after the worst performance of his career – well, they do say ‘never a sucker an even break’ don’t they? So that’s it settled then – it was all Jaffa’s fault and the rest of us have absolutely nothing to reproach ourselves for. Onward and upward.
Danny